Where do you hide when you have no where to go?

and i hold it all in
i hold it in
and i hold on untill
the moment that
when i close my eyes i see your face
the face that killed me inside
the face that i trusted
the face i relied on
the face that killed my soul
i see you when i close my eyes
and i cant sleep
i cant sleep
because i feel your eyes
looking at me
staring at me
not like im a little girl but like
like im just something for you to use
to take
to throw away
to break
i trusted you
i needed you
i depended on you to keep me safe
and you left me there
alone
behind a door
on the floor
while you used her
i hid
i hid from you and her
and i hid from the guilt
i hid in the blade
i hid in the pills
and the bottle
i couldnt bleed enough to get rid of the nightmares
i never tripped enough to make you go away
the blackout never erased the memories of her face
of your face
they were burned into my memories
like the scars on my arms
you cut my heart
and now i cant sleep
i cant sleep
because all i see is your face
and those eyes
they peer at me in my dazed state

where all i see
all i can relive
and they say we cant relive
all we can do is remember
but as i relieve those moments
i feel it again
i feel the cool blade against my skin
i feel the pills in my throat
i feel the liquor in my stomach
i feel you
i feel my soul disappearing
and the trust is fleeting
while my heart breaks
and all my dreams are replaced with your face
and i just
cant
sleep