Childhood Games

from hide and go seek
to diddy kong racing
the cards were clean
but the cartridges needed to be blown
when i fit in the dryer
and you under the couch
biking through the woods
and taunting the pig farm man
finally double digits when the world was ending
the summer of refuge
the kind of refuge that you hide in
you stow away and take a trip
a trip to places youve been or seen or dreamed of
we played
everything from hide and go seek
to paper mario
i hid
i hid under the bed and you found me
i hid in the closet and you found me
i hid under you and you found me
my innocence
my beauty
my heart
my soul
you found the pieces of me that i hadn't begun to look for
yet
and when i finished counting
there was no one left
no one left to find
no one left to search for
i searched a barren field
for the pieces you'd stolen and hidden
the pieces that you had destroyed
as i hid under the bed
i tried to guess who
i tried to say uno
i tried to scream jenga
i yelled marco
and no one answered
we played hide and go seek
i used to hide in the dryer
when i fit
you used to hide under the couch
when you fit
but now
i hide in myself
when i find a way to fit
because when i was counting
thats where you tried to fit
i tried to hide in the carpet
but i never did fit there
and the guilt i felt for never finding you
is overwhelming
consuming
and distracting
i looked everywhere
the woods
the game room
my heart
his belt
your first notch was not his last
the slashes in your soul
became the slashes on your knees
and the bruises on your hands
the holes in your heart
became the holes in your eyes
and the field where you hid was obscure and desolate
you left me
you left me there laying on the floor
with nothing more than the physical
you left me in the dryer to burn
you left me
in a field to never be found again
the childhoods games we played contained no soul
the childhood games you played contained no taste
and no all i can do is hide inside myself