i dont know what to say to you...

If you want me
Let me know it
I'll make time but
You've got to show it
If you need me
I want to see
But don't mistake me
I don't want you down on your knees

these are my words...

i'm wild, crazy, rambunctious, overly sexual, a party girl, and a bunch of other things most people cant handle. but i'm also a caring, loving, great person, who takes life and the people in mine seriously. so when i think that someone in my life who i kinda sorta really care about may think im a bad person or if they think less of me it hurts me and i hate it and can't stand it. and i usually dont give a flying fuck what other people think of me but for some reason your opinion is important to me. and im sorry my behavior was unacceptable. i was totally in the wrong. im sorry so so so so so sorry. i hope you dont look at me any differently.
to be quite honest i cant get you out of my head...youre like one of the only people who just getting a text from them makes me so happy...one of the only guys i genuinely care about. i look at you and know that while you are already amazing that one day will be the standard for greatness and i want to be there to see it. never before have i had this odd strange comfortable connection to someone...not like this...and in feeling this i dont want to let it go. i feel as though im standing in front of you completely naked...as though when i look at you you are the only person in the room and i like it. i cant get you out of my head...i dont know if i really want you out of my head...im not sure that you should be running through my head right now and my thoughts...my first day awake and an anxiety attack is so on the way...lo
this is not a love letter...unless you want it to be...

i need
i strive
i thrive
i have to be
the person you want me to be
i need to be everything you want
i need to feel you kiss me again
i need to know if i felt anything
anything at all
because what i think i felt made my heart stop
and if it was that kiss
i need to know if your heart stopped too
or at least went pitter patter
i need to know that even though my body was nnumb
my lips could still feel