So...here it is.

Umm. yea.
I'm not sure how to start this...letter. It's supposed to be a heartfelt letter to the people who have helped me grow in the last few years. The friends, the friends who stayed friends, the friends who became enemies, the enemies who became friends, and the other people who made these last few years crucial to me. Umm...so I guess this is where I start.

To my Loves:

I'd like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for the emotional ups and downs. Thank you for the betrayals. Thank you for being there. thank you for the lessons you have taught me when I didn't really want to learn them.
In the last I'd say 3 years, I've managed to find the best friends of my life. And i don't know if calling them "friends" does them justice. Most of the time I consider them family. But my heart, my heart considers them my guardian angels. So, this is really hard for me to write, mainly because it involves expressing real emotions other than anger. And, I'd like to say thanks to those who stick through with me when the only emotion I can show is anger, displaced anger, but anger none-the-less. But I guess I can't avoid the emotion anymore. lol...haha

To Francesca, Jackie, Jordan, Jules, Kai, Sarah, Sean, Tiffany, and Whitney:
You were there for me. I leaned on you whether you really knew it or not. You let me be strong for you when I couldn't be for myself And now I'm about to cry. Each of you stood behind me during my worst times. The times when I just wasn't me. The times that I pushed you away and hurt you. You brushed it off, not happily but you did. And you came back and were there for me. I honestly am probably the luckiest girl ever. I don't know what I did to deserve friends like you guys but I thank God for each and everyone of you.

Cesca- Honey, we've been through so much and I am so glad to have you back. There is no way i would have rather started this year than by still having you as my best friend, my sister, my soulmate. I'm so glad that we have decided to work on our relationship, I mean really even cars need tune-ups and I really think we went over 50,000 miles. HaHa. Honey, you have been my backbone for like 3 years now. We've grown up together. thank you for being there even when I didnt want you there.

Jackie- Babe you are such a busybody and annoying and jittery (well you were lol). But all of those things are the things I love most about you. Because you are a busybody when it comes to people you care about. And you are extra annoying when you are doing things you love and care about. Which has been helping me overcome me lately. And I love that about you. My dear, you understand me way better than most do and I need that sometimes. To not have to explain is amazing.

Jordan- You hurt my heart. You made me feel like shit for almost as long as I've known you. And the funny part is, is that was exactly what I needed. You are an amazing asset. You let me care again. if you hadn't hurt me i wouldn't have known that I could actually care about someone like I did about you. You let me give of myself, and I guess this sounds like a thank you for treating me like shit (and it kinda is), but it's more of a thank you for being a good friend. On the nights when I was scared and hurting and needing a distraction...you were there. And on the nights when I needed someone to prevent the tunnel vision you were there. So thank you mister.

Jules- My roomie, my love. I love you. You umm defintely made my life at USCB easier and a lot more fun. You say who i was and you were there to help me. I don't know whatelse to say other than thank you so much. So much fun in one person...'07-'08 was an amazing year. You saw me at my worst and still loved me.

Kai- You're beautiful. And you are an amazing friend. You are the stable one. thank you for letting me lean on you. I owe you so much, for the memories and for making life that much easier for me.

Sarah- Poop! I love you dearest. Those nights when it was all I could do to keep from crying you were there. Thanks for the drives.

Sean- You fool! lol Thanks for helping me open up I dont think I would have been able to write this if I had never met you.

Tiffany- Being there and talking me down when I was doing dumb stuff was crucial and I love you for it. And understanding that our lives are busy is a blessing and i love you everyday for it.

Whitney- I have hated you and loved you more than anyone on this list and its all been because I trusted you so much. I love you. You're one of my best friends ever. You've changed me and my life and the way I live. I love you. We've been through so much and I wouldn't have rather gone through it with anyone else. i dont know what to say to you other than I love you so much! Probably more than anyone can evern articulate.

Thank you all. I dont know how many times or way I can say this. I love each and every one of you.

This is as much as I can write without breaking down and crying.