Rage

what do i have to prove to you?
what is it that makes us so different?
is it that i'm open and honest?
is it that i love with no restrictions?
or is it the money
and the opportunity
and the privilege
is it because i embody everything that you wish you could be
occasionally i wonder
--why me
why do you persist in disliking me?
is it because that despite all that i've been given i still work for mine
this silver spoon
-->i may have been born with
but i added the diamonds myself
and in 19years the silver I turned to platinum
i worked for mine
i gave my life to my cause
and its because of that
-->that i stand

ive never laid down in a bed made for me
i made my own
from wood given to me
and some that i found
and most that i created
i dont believe that you are somehow superior
and it pisses you off
it makes you madder than the language you managed to mutilate with the obscene and ignorant --metaphors your weak and feeble mind is impressed that it can manage to conjure from the --pages of Dr.Seuss
the pages that you still struggle with
the pages that shape the semi-lucid adult that exists right here
not the imagined pages of Dickens
the pages that chronicle your struggle with the pages of Tolstoy
because within the two cities you live the balance is constantly influx
because the war you wage within yourself is validated by the concocted peace you make with --others like you

because you need to feel like you belong
so you devise semi-profound metaphors
and yell "that's that deep shit'
-->because it is
but puddles are deep
and small towns large
untill you know the depth of the world outside your small little mind
but with windows closed
your soul is unexposed
and your puddles never turn to ponds
--and your ponds are never lakes
you small cities were never built on grid systems

thats okay--not all success is conventional
but no one succeeded by allowing their bed to be made for them
and unlike you
i refuse to allow those that allow themselves to remain hotel maids make my beds
and shape my mirrors

so have i covered it all
your missing intelligence
and subsequent misuse of a language you strive to prove adequacy in
or did i miss your utter lack of ambition to change your unsavory existence into one you can run --to mommy with to prove that you weren't a waste of the sperm she usually swallowed during --one night stands that spotted your life like a bitch on the pill
and i try not to curse but this had to be an exception
you make jokes about me
using my possessions and carefree actions as ammo
but yet again what do i have to prove to you
nothing
and please say i talk shit...
because no matter what i say it is all truth
and the most i'll do is defend myself
and lose respect for you as a person
but i'll still love you
and never do you to you what you do to me

i guess i needed to vent a little


-Mikki